If you were to ask them if they still love the individual they would admittedly say “no” that they hate that person.
The one thing is that love and hate are two very powerful emotions. So if they are expending enough energy to actually hate this person. It takes up to much time in their head for their to be any room for someone new.
Chances are very high that the longing to be back with this person is still very strong.
The truth is there is no magic formula to make the person you desire to love you. The hard truth is that they either do or they don’t.
Always something there to remind them
Do they still talk about their ex all the time? Chances are they are not over the person. Especially if there is a vengeance streak or they can’t stop talking about how they are going to get back at this person.
There is a whole lot of comparing going on. Do they take every situation and relate it to the ex? You will be out to eat and they mention the persons likes or dislikes.
.You could be out just shopping and they will tell you how much
A normal seeming day could turn into a rehashing of painful memories that you never wanted to hear.
If stories like this come up. The truth is that they are not over this person. That means there is no room for you. You are not the one taking up the time in their head. Three is a crowd.
Time to move on and let them heal
The hard truth is you will never be able to compare to the ghosts of the past. Healing of the past is the only way to create a happy future.
Many times the person will not heal because holding these memories makes them feel still connected to their ex.
This is just a form of self sabatoge that you do not need to be part of.
If you are thinking they will move on
You may try to convince yourself that they will wake up and see how good of a partner you are. If they d
Playing second fiddle is never fun. Since someone is the nightmare that wont go away there is no room for you to be there dream come true.
Let them know how you feel. If after being told. You
You teach people how to treat you
It is your job to let your partner know that you wont be just a sounding board.
You control how others treat you. Teach people that in order to be with you, you need to be their only partner. Not just a convenient substitute because they do not want to be alone.
You deserve the best life has to offer. Especially who you share your life with.